Autobiograpy :D

My name is Maria Guadalupe T. Ariola. As you can see, my name holds a religious significance to it. That’s because my mother, at the tender age of thirteen, joined the Legion of Mary. When my mom was pregnant with me, she told me that whenever she went to church to ask for the intercession of Our Lady of Guadalupe. My mother always prayed for a healthy child whenever she was there. That is why I thank God that there’s nothing wrong with me.
I always wanted a common name like Erica or Cathleen. I considered my name as one of the things I hated about myself. I despised my name. First of all, it is too long. It’s challenging enough for a toddler to memorize her “ABC’s”, let alone write her very long name. Second, my name is “teasable”. The taunts started when I was in grade 3. My teachers would revise my name in order to make it shorter. They would call me “Guada” or “Lupita” and then everybody would laugh. I do have a nickname but, for some reason, they’d rather toy with my name. I hated it and still do. Third, every time I introduced myself, there were only two reactions. One was “So your mother’s a devotee of Our Lady of Guadalupe?”, and the other one was “How did you get your nickname?”. It’s not that I get annoyed when people ask me questions. It’s just that when you hear it over and over again it gets irritating. With that, I proceed to my fourth and final reason for not liking my name; simply because, it’s not me.
My parents often argue about random things. I attempted to intervene at one point when I was four years old. My dad told me that I was too young and that I should butt out of the conversation. Since then, whenever I would hear them shout at each other, I’d just lock my doors and cry under my bed. Given that I am an only child, I had no outlet for all the emotions that I was feeling at that time. I bottled up my feelings to show them that I am not affected by their constant fighting. I would always find a way to get out of the house because I didn’t want to hear them bickering. But it was only until I stepped into high school that I discovered my true love and outlet for everything I wanted to express. The thing I’m talking about is music. Music, for me, releases every emotion in my body, be it with my parents or with school. I taught myself how to play the guitar. Ever since then, every time I would hear them quarreling, I’d just pick up my guitar and play all night.
Now, I can’t help but still hide my feelings towards others. Growing up in an environment full of hatred, you’d just want to escape and create you own fantasy island. Every time I strum the strings of my guitar, I feel free and relaxed. I feel like there’s no one else around me. All the insecurities, troubles and chaos simply don’t exist. Even with all these things happening to me, I still manage to stand straight with my head held up high. Because for me, there is no sense in holding on to your past if you can’t learn anything from it.

Patagilid na Landas

Ako si Popoy. Mahirap lang kami. Lahat ng trabaho na makita ko, talagang gagawin ko para lang magkapera. Naranasan ko nang magmalimos kung saan-saan, Maghalungkat ng mga basura, kahit maging call boy nagawa ko na rin. Wala na kasi mga magulang ko eh. Iniwan ako at mga kapatid ko. Kasi daw, di daw nila kayang palakihin kami ng tama. Eh ano pa bang magagawa namin? Edi nagsiiyakan kaming lahat at lumaki ng walang mga magulang.
Naswertehan pa talaga ako! Ako pa ung panganay! Kaya yung mga kapatid ko, lahat sila umaasa sakin. Lahat sila pinag-aaral ko. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano ko nagawa eh. Pero eto si Linda, magtatapos na rin ng High School. Eh ang kaso, napaaga ung pagbubuntis. Mahal niya daw kasi si Boris. At naisipan pa nilang mag-asawa! Ayan! Wala na! Wala nanamang nag-aahon sa samin sa buhay na to. Hay buhay!
Eto naman si Toto. Diyos ko! Ano kayang mangyayari kay Toto. Alam mo, hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano pang gagawin ko sa binatang yan! Akalain mo ba naman! Di pa nga nagpapatule eh ilang beses na siyang labas pasok ng kulungan. Sobrang kati ng kamay! Pati ako ninanakawan niya! Kaya pag pumunta ka sa bahay namin, lahat ng kwarto may kandado. Hay, inaasahan ko na lang na sana makatapos siya ng elementarya. Naku! Ilang beses na rin yan umulit ng greyd six. Buti na lang at mababait ung mga titser dun. Biruin mo ba naman pitong taon pa lang si Toto nagyoysi na ung batang un! Sabagay, noong nandito pa sina mama at papa, laging naginugulpi ni papa si Toto. Lalo na kapag nag-aaway sila ni mama at lasing si papa. Minsan, hindi ko alam kung maaawa ako sa batang yan o ibibitin ko ng patiwarik. Pangarap niya daw maging artista. Katulad nung mga tao sa TV. Hinahayaan ko na lang ung lalaking un. Matanda narin naman siya eh. Kaya na niyang magdesisyon ng sarili niya.
Buti pa nga si beybi. Aming bunso, naghahanap na rin ng trabaho dahil alam niya na naghihirap na kami. Lalo na at may dadagdag pa sa pamilya namin. Hay, buti pa si beybi. Naiintindihan niya ung sitwasyon. Pero sinabi ko sa kanya na wag masyadong magpapagod sa pagtatrabaho at nag-aaral pa siya. Matalino si beybi. Top 1 sa klase niya. Sabi pa sakin ng titser niya na pagkagradweyt ni Beybi baka pwede daw mabigyan ng scholarship sa college. Siya na lang talaga ang pag-asa ng pamilya namin.
Kaya naman ako nandito ngayon kasi mag-aaply sana ako ng trabaho. Natanggap na nga ako eh. Sa ibang bansa ung trabaho ko. Pero bago yun, kailangan ko munang gawin to. Para sakin at sa trabaho ko. Lahat ng inipon ko mula sa pagkabata ko dala ko ngayon. Sinabi ko naman diba, lahat talaga gagawin ko para lang maahon ang pamilya ko sa kahirapan ng buhay dito sa Pilipinas. Kaya nung nalaman ko na may ganitong trabaho, bigla kong pinuntahan hinanda ko biodata ko at nagpa interview kaagad ako.
O, sige ako na daw ung susunod. Pagkatapos ko operahan, alam ko na mag-iiba na buhay naming magkakapatid. Pagkalabas ko dito sa ospital na to hindi na ako si popoy. Ako na si Precious! At pupunta ako ng Japan!


/* DRAFT lng to ah..sorry kung may mga mali-mali*/

Rainy day

Today I woke up to the heavy and loud noise of the rain. Well, actually it was my mother's Nth time to attempt to jolt me to get going. So, I drove to school after all my morning rituals*wink wink*. As I was approaching the gate to exit my village, the first thing i saw was flood. It seemed like the PACIFIC OCEAN mysteriously transported itself to the backpart of my humble village. I took that as a sign. A sign that gave me a hint of how my morning will be full of wet roads and heavy traffic. When I arrived school, there were parking slots but those spaces were full of water. So, I parked my car as quickly as I could then the very moment I stepped out of my car *SPLASH* i stepped on a puddle. A very deep and wet puddle. Then I rush to my first class (calculus) with soaking wet sneakers. (I HATE the FEELING of wearing WET SHOES, especially when those shoes are not exactly WATERPROOF.)As usual I was late for my first class. What do you expect from me? I consider my self as a late bloomer (so to speak hehe:D).

Even if the rain was pouring down really hard, my day turned out okay. Classes were suspended. But we only had one class left. Atleast classes still got suspended. *WOHOO!!!!*Exept for the part where I forgot my KEYS in my CAR AGAIN!!! I seriously think that I have a memory probem that I told my mom about that she completly ignored. I think it's the fact that she's in denial. SHE doesn't want to admit the she actually has a daughter that has "D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T-I-E-S" in remembering stuff. Who can blame her. She is HERSELF. Anyway my MOTHER is a different blog . If ever I do write about her, expect a novel, or a series of blogs all about her.

See Y'all tom!!! or the next day I write here again!!!

thanks for reading!

=LUPITA=

A boken circle

FOR FRIENDSHIPS THAT ARE NON-EXISTENT

Everyone has their own group of friends that they normally hang out with in high school. In my experience, I rummaged for qualities that standout among the people in my school. Its was really not that hard to look for people that I can actually get along with given that I've known these people ever since kindergarten. But being a "not so social" type of person, I just let things happen. I don't go out of my way to join a "Barkada" or to engage my self in activities that I don't like just to be accepted. I go my own way. But that doesn't mean I'm anti-social, it just means I have my own opinion and my own stand in every aspect. I had a series of let's just say transformation during my high school life.

Every year, I have different sets of friends. But one circle remained strong. Even if I gained new friends over the year, at the end of the day they're still the ones I want to hang out with. At that point in time, I thought, that even "Millenyo" can't break us down. Our friendship grew more by the second. Never in a million years would I expect that our bond would just disappear. Never have I imagined that a little separation would change everything. In my case, I guess I grew out of the group. I discovered that I had different priorities than them. But that doesn't mean that I put them aside. Or that I just completely forgot about them. No! That is SOOOOOO not the case.

Yesterday, I finally caught up with reality.

The facts are:

1. people who you thought still thinks about you are actually NOT

2. people who you think are just SOOO BUSY that's why they're not keeping in touch such BULLSHIT!!

3. It hurts to find out that they still "PARTY" w/o you (all the while thinking they have STUFF to do)

in a sentence....

THIS IS JUST ONE BIG CRAP!!!!